so preoccupied with now,
can’t see a later.
obsessed with what is,
rather than what could be.
now passes,
and becomes a past tense then.
If we had any sense
we would choose
the future tense
more often than
more often than
more often than
we do.

i see how problematic it all is-
because in the end,
all i have is then.

when hearts are exposed,
and souls are uncomposed.
in:con:soul:able because
we enable our selves
to con ourselves
out of a future free
of able vs. unable
lawful vs. unlawful.
conning souls
out of real satisfaction.
out of bliss that is not
fleeting or fading.
with our cunning
cliches for excuses.
they slip out of our mouths,
as if they had been
for a moment
full of choice in now.

when hearts are exposed
and souls are InConSoulAble
because of choices in favor of now
when shame beats red
on faces of those
who forsook future
feverish faces,
flushed- in remembrance
of past passion
once now,
now, then.

let it be later.
give me mine later
i want mine later.
tomorrow i may tell you different
but only because i am impatient.
forgive my fleeting compulsion to follow impulse.
but know as i know only You know,
that my true desire
lays in later.
please. let me be one who follows
even when it sounds odd.
let my face be cleansed
with cool wudoo water
freeing me of fever
that forces me –
even when it feels like forever,
to act disdainfully accordingly.
truth will always be odd in an
dishonest world-
when mouths are dishonest,
to lie is the worst of sins to this sinner.
the only quality that can take
all the other characteristics
of a character
and make them lack all things redeemable.
just one lie.
just one.
let my mouth be a source of real.
let it be my salvation to later.
let it be on my side in the day
that hearts are exposed.
let it speak for me
let it attest to the truth-
that i chose later.
i plead to be
of the odd-
the rare,
the ones who choose later.

*inconsolable: being in an able state to con one’s soul. (out of fitra)