On God & astrology

Trite spirituality:
I believe in the science of the stars. I believe these things as there is nothing in my spiritual constitution that tells me I shouldn’t. My heart does not send up warning flags from thinking these thoughts and so I find them to be sound according to my tradition. One this though, it is so absurd to me that we can believe in things as distant as the cosmos dealing the cards of our lives, while God remains a distant concept to many of our peers.

Taking false Idols:
There are many whose lives revolve around astrology. They become slaves to their sign.  They become followers of the rules and laws that govern their particular sign. They embody and exude the characteristics of their sign in hopes that it will add some order to their chaotic life. We are all looking for spirituality, a connection to the Divine, and instead of putting in any real effort, we are indolent and come to find that the trite spirituality that astrology has can superficially fill that void nicely for a time. This is a sign of a much more odious malady than just indolence. There is a void within us that only a set of laws can fill and some choose to fill it with false conjecture and a completely human constructed science rather than fill it with freedom in surrender to the Creator of all concepts who created that little idea too.
God is Greater than ______.

this statement holds true no matter what you fill the blank in with.

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roll on musk

sweeter than his musk smelled, was the closeness that allowed me the proximity to smell his sweetness.

sweet usually signifying taste-
but with him:
all I needed was one good breeze…
windstrokes sending his scent my way
so strong-
sent breath away
and brought
water to mouth
in a way
that only
sweet tasting smell
can.

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yummy

What if it didn’t?

What if food in general wasn’t a source of pleasure?

What if it was painful?

How merciful God is to make our source of sustenance be a source of pleasure too! He is so good to us that He took something necessary for our survival and made it pleasureful too. Imagine having to masticate something that we found no pleasure in, and needing to do so multiple times a day, just in order to be able to function and have enough energy to go about our daily business! Food could have been just a means to an end, eat to energize- but instead we eat for pleasure. Rare is it that we think of our food only as a source of energy for us. Rare is it that we measure how many joules of energy this or that food will give us. Instead we ingest what will bring us the most pleasure. Imagine if we had to do this monotonous thing, day in and day out, multiple times a day, only for it to be something we dread- something that pains us. Mastication is already strenuous and takes effort, imagine if there was no immediate gratification for the effort! The arduous act of chewing coupled with delicious tasting wonders, only One greater than us could have been so kind and gentle.

And what a mercy it is that we do have to masticate! How He allows us to savor our food- How He allows us time to enjoy it in our mouth before it enters our system to give us necessary energy. What a mercy it is that He allows us time during chewing for our bodies to decide when it is time to stop eating. What a mercy that we are able to chew to make it easier on our weak bodies to digest the means of energy- How He is the source of that energy.

And how amazing it is to think of the life of your food. How that slice of watermelon I just savored was always meant just for me. The fact that He set aside my provision in that watermelon when my book was written and made that watermelon come to be, and then brought to me…awe inspiring. (and to think that my watermelon, is in a complete state of God consciousness, and in praise of Him- How can I do anything but praise Him for making my food praise Him too- How can i do anything but give thanks when what I am eating is praising Him- it would be wholly unnatural and inorganic!)

SO give thanks for your food- but give thanks for its deliciousness because in that is a blessing and mercy too!

Oh Allah, so few thanks do we offer and how many are due- Make us mindful of your mercy. Make us mindful of Your un-enumerable blessings, and gift us the intellect to recognize You in these things! ameen.

These Attractions
from Maarif Bahauddin
1:144-145

I was saying Glory to God and the inner meaning of that came to me. If you desire elegance, the perfection of it is in the presence of God. The same with wealth, authority, dignity, sama, and sohbet. All of these reach perfection inside the mystery. Whatever we love in this visible world, we are sure to discover its flaws.
We grow more alive, more perfect, when we take these attractions into the presence. Let them live inside our being drawn there. Every pleasure of light, color, taste, touch, fragrance and sound becomes filled with out remembering. We go light-hearted, high spirited (37:99). Even when I fear going there, I am held, kissed, and bathed in the luster.
Now I begin repeating Allahu Akbar, God is great, and I see the beauty of the visible forms of that greatness, physical strength, banners, a mountain cliff. Likewise, when I [do dthikr,] that conversation becomes a spring wind turning dead ground into roses, water running by, word of a friend’s arrival. Saying praise together out loud brings into being a key that opens the heart.

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don’t sleep.

woke up
because the
silence of sleep,
was too loud
for my soul
to bear.

woke up
to wash
so I could
enter into
the only
conversation
worth having.

woke up
to wake up
from hours
of my soul
wandering
a world
where
I wear thin on
my own nerves-
where I weigh less
in my own worth.

woke up
to alleviate
my aversion
to death and
her smaller sister-
because of how
desperately
I am avoiding
the reality of
how sisterly near
in proximity to me
they are.

woke up
because
the silence
of sleep,
a disconnect
too steep-
was what
kept me
captive-
woke up
because i needed to speak to You.
banished the sister of sleep
because i need more time
to decipher Your signs.

May He make the last of our actions, the best of our actions.

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i want to know You like need

in that first moment of world beyond belly, I want to know You like You make baby know it needs to breathe
I reject barely because that is the burden my back bears already!
I beseech You for a bond that is unbreakable-
a knowledge of You that is unshakable
I want to know You like Your friend’s know Your secrets
I want to know Your friends!
become bewildered by You- from their knowledge of Your secrets
I want to sincerely submit
rather than succumb
because I am just so overcome
to find at times that You are that Ultimate One
I want to know You in an uncontingent way
I want to feel You in that forehead to the floor five times a day way
I want to forget the falsehoods I’ve been fed
I want to be free in You
because I just know….I just know
that to know You
is to free me of me
I want to know You forever without forgetting for a second
because I cant lose a moment
because I don’t know how much of Your time I have been lent
l e a n i n t o m e
l e a n i n t o m e
l e a n i n t o m e
l e a n i n t o m e
l e a n i n t o m e
l e a n i n t o m e
lean into me

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[part of] a poem that would never make it to the stage (a poem with references!!!)

“and through the pedagogy (some say indoctrination) of their choosing-
they kept the hegemonic structure hierarchically in their favor-
bound to the capital that only they could own and so we became
a society obsessed with education that costs capital (social and financial) but
does not pay in property.
irony.”

“Property, in its present form, is based on the antagonism of capital and wage-labour. Let us examine both sides of this antagonism. To be a capitalist, is to have not only a purely personal, but a social status in production. Capital is a collective product, and only by the united action of many members, nay, in the last resort, only by the united action of all members of society, can it be set in motion. Capital is, therefore, not a personal, it is a social power.”

“The [rich], wherever [they have] got the upper hand, [have] put an end to all feudal, patriarchal, idyllic relations. [They have] pitilessly torn asunder the motley feudal ties that bound man to his “natural superiors,” and [have] left remaining no other nexus between man and man than naked self-interest, than callous “cash payment.”” (Marx)

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prayersthatwe’reathis(s)sideontheonlydayitcounts.ameen.

there is a longing
in my mind’s body
that permeates
through into
my core

::limbs ache::

pleading
&
praying

for a sight of him (s)

hymns of complaint
pass from lips
wet from praise
and prayers on
him (s)

humming my soundtrack:
“talama ashku gharami”
this obsessive love:
oppressing my regular breath

gaahh sssp iiihng
at the thought
of seeing him (s)

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